PUNS

Post any type of pun!

Here's some:
Thought you tied your shoes right, eh? Frayed knot.
Beats me why anyone would want to be a masochist.
Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
Are Philosophy papers graded with Marx out of ten?
I met some cult members who worshiped soup serving utensils. I said, 'Oh ye of ladle faith.'
Most males in a men's room are stand-up guys.
The parsley farmer couldn't pay his child support, so the courts garnished his wages.
It is difficult to escape being a peasant because resistance is feudal.
Make no bones about it but the ulna has a humerus side to it.
The oil well driller had a boring job.
I dropped out of my communism class because of lousy Marx.
The compensation received by the Italian chef was a pretty penne.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Some rappers are good but others are Ludacris.
Males who wonder why they should have a prostate exam usually get it in the end.
There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
Rectum? Damn near killed him!
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
What kind of car do pirates drive? YAAARRIS
Have you been extreme camping? It's intents.
No, we couldn't build the tent due to missed stakes.
Why shouldn't a man get hungry in the Great Desert? He can eat the sand which is there.  Where did they come from? Why, Noah sent ham, and his descendants mustered and bred.

I got a job at a recycling plant to crush cans. It's soda pressing.